This blog is about my kids and the fun and challenge of raising them Indian. This is particularly fun and challenging because my husband is Italian-American and his family is about as old-school as can be. That's definitely not a bad thing, but the cultural differences, among other things, are never short on entertainment value.

The title of my blog is Desi Mom. The term desi, literally translated, means in the family, and has gained popularity in recent years to describe the younger generation of people of Indian, Pakistani, and other South Asian descent. It is used in a similar manner in which Italian-Americans might use the term paysan. Desi has evolved to become a term to establish ethnic identity and common cultural values. There is even an MTV station dedicated solely to South Asians called MTVDesi. There is an offshoot of desi, ABCD, which is an acronym for American Born Confused Desi. Native born South Asians coined this phrase to describe their American-born counterparts who have readily assimilated into the American culture and have consequently contributed to the disintegration and erosion of their native culture. As it happens, there is also term for backwards and clueless native borns living in the states. It's FOB, or Fresh Off the Boat. It's all in good fun, everyone, relax....

Although I am a desi, the degree to which I am so is somewhat questionable. As it turns out there are different degrees of Indian-ness. From time to time my mom will describe someone as being very Indian, meaning they are on the ball with the language and culture and most likely know how to wear a sari. I am the first to admit that I am not very Indian. I understand my parents' native language quite well, but I can barely speak it and when I do I sound like a tourist. I don't really know how to cook Indian food. When I decided to cook Indian food, I had to call my mom and write down the recipes in detail. I have become better, although my repertoire is still very limited. I wore a sari for the first time last year at age 35. I put one on when I was 9 during a visit to India, but that doesn't really count because I had some pictures taken for posterity and promptly took it off. I have only recently begun to learn what the names of other Indian clothes are and have started wearing them to different events. Suffice to say that becoming more Indian has opened up a whole new world of shopping for me. Between the clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, and accessories, I need a whole new wardrobe. Gotta love that. I have never seen a Bollywood movie and I don't really listen to the music. However, Hindi music and Bollywood music and productions have become very mainstream and I am starting to gain an appreciation for them.

I am, however, without any shadow of a doubt, a mommy. My two children, Zachary and Mackenzie, are a constant source of laughter for me. They are bright, cute, energetic, and funny and they keep me on my toes. As a parent, I tend to get a bit obsessive about certain things, like academics, in particular. For the most part they are pretty normal kids, I think, and mostly well-adjusted. If not, they can get therapy when they are older. Doing the mommy thing has not changed me as a person, although now I have to cook, which is annoying sometimes. Otherwise, I am the same person I have always been, but now I have my posse of kids. Alright, to be fair, two is neither a posse nor an entourage, but they are almost always with me.

With the two of them, being Indian has become more important because I want them to know their culture. My parents would have preferred me to be more Indian, but I am pretty headstrong and persistent, and that wasn't me, not then anyway. Now it is important for me to be a part of the culture because it is my children's connection to their heritage. It goes without saying that they will know the Italian side of their heritage as well, but that is more readily visible and available. The Indian side is much harder to do, so I go out of my way to make it a part of their lives